Penyucian jiwa. Lah sangat.

Hai peopot. Kays. Today I kat rumah uolls. I balik okay I balik. I buat decision drastic gila babs I cakap uolls. Semata mata nak amik camera punya pasal. Phew. Now satu badan sakit sakit. Pasaipa, ohh I mmg macam ni, asal balik je mulalah mengada ngada nak demam. Tepape tah tepape. Kenapa amik camera, ohh I kan, tak biasa takde camera ni. Susah. Okay seriously, annoying -_- Dah sorry gaise. 

Amik camera sebab esok ada Dinner Anum :-) Haha aku tak tahulah kenapa aku jadi sayang gila dekat anum. Nampak tak? Tak eh? Okay. Life? Hectic, pathetic, thick, fantastic bombastic elastic *kay over* Terlalu banyak benda jadi. Sampai aku pon tak tahu nak cerita apa dah. Ni tengah ada mood nak menaip, tu yang korang tengah baca ni. Hari ni dah 5 haribulan. Kata warga twitterjaya Page 5 of 365. Wuuu. Terror semorang ada buku memasing. Fuyoh. Kalau korang punya best seller mmg wa salute! Kalau setakat sekali publish itu pon tak habis jual, watlek watpis, baru page 5 haha kay. ada lagi 360. Lekluuuu. 

So, so far, mine was just nice, I guessed hiks. and oh the kakaks read my blog. Haha. Malu gila sheng -_- Lepak ngan Kak Auni kat bilik dia tetiba dia "Eh, kita baca blog awakkkk, awak kata kita comel, awak kata botol kita pon comel" Lol -_- Lepak dengan Kak Hajar tengok bulan kat sebelah court "Eh betul ke akak garang gila dulu? Akak ada baca blog awak" Bla bla bla something like dat lah. Hahahahahah balik bilik terus aku baca balik apa aku tulis. Terasa nak menyorok bawah kerusi. Haha ye kalau baca blog saya, sila senyap. Taktahu gene apa ada dalam darah sampai jadi macam ni. Pepelik je diri sendiri. Kay whateber lah. What's on here, stays here :E <-- bawah.="bawah." font="font" gigi="gigi" nbsp="nbsp" takde="takde">

Perasan tak aku macam hyper gila ni hah? Tak perasan eh? Yes, aku tengah menulis 180 km sejam. Tak caya.... sudah. Mood swing gila nowadays. Hormon tak stabil mungkin. Kejap kejap tetiba mood taknak layan orang, habis semua orang aku layan tak layan je, kata dorang 'Mampus tak layan' Diorg cakap, aku tak. Karang tetiba hyper gila, habis semuaorang aku ajak bercakap, lari sana lari sini, gelak -_- Ceh. What's wrong with me? Someone pls tell me? Eh. Tak suka sebenarnya. Karang kawan kawan aku kecelaruan maklumat. Kesian diorang. Haha. 

Oh aku nak cerita pasal buku tahun baru akuuuu! (Acah acah berjaya)

Page 1 of 365 : Went out with the girls. Mimi Ayong Wani and Laila. Main bowling, Karoks :D Was fun hehe (Asal guwa rasa macam cliche gilos). Malam tu, celebrate birthday Kak Yana. Was planned by Kak Sally. Kitorang guna prank candle tak boleh padam tu. Tapi disebabkan errr, so tak baca instruction bantai cenggitu, tetiba candle tu padam haha. Seronok Kak Yana bantai bahan aku dengan nisa -_- Bahagia naw dia malam tu, sikit sikit pandang aku gelak 'Bila dah menyala susah nak padam' XD. Tengok sinister dengan kak yana & kak auni yang sakit kepala last last tido. Pastu balas pantun dengan kak yana kak hajar. Hehe. Akak, dulu, orang juara tau, Dulu lah, 19 tahun lepas. 

Page 2 of 365 : Pepagi ada orang send text 'Kiub maggi kiub knor, hmm best nya tido. Malam malam pergi belayau, hahaha selamat belajau' -___- And cannot tahan tell you, penat tahan gelak. Sungguh kejam akak sorang ni -_- Nasib badanlah kan kelas 8.30. Grr. 

Page 3 of 365 : The only thing I remember was, 2 kali guwa dah sampai kelas, baru tahu kelas cancel. Hahaha *asah parang*

Page 4 of 365 : Kelas Bel, Madam Syai. Di sebabkan Miss Aina tetiba ntah bagaimana dan kenapa pergi tinggalkan kami membawa diri dan haluan (kay sumpah over) maka masuklah Mdm Syai ke kelas tadi. Serious aku cakap dia ajar best gila. BEST GILA WEH. Boleh bayang tak betapa happy nya aku study kat kelas tadi. Tetiba dia cakap, saya relief je kelas awak yang ni. Nanti akan ada lecturer baru masuk next week. And we all semua, ALAHHHH :'( Okay tu je lah kot. Oh and and, tadi dalam bas masa balikkan, dekat seat belakang kitorang. ada baby anak mat saleh phewwww comel gila :'D 

Why am I listing out everything that happen? This is what I'm trying to do, tak tahu lah sampai bila aku istiqamah tapi best je. Tapi takpayah kot empty jar bagai. Nanti lansung tak istiqamah dibuatnya. Phew. 

Plus, aku tulis sini sebenarnya so that one day masa dah tua kerepot eh tak lah kerepot, aku boleh baca balik dan gelak sorang sorang teringat semua benda yang jadi ni. Dan yes, itulah tujuan sebenarnya aku tulis blog. Sebab tu I never care bout ada orang baca ke tak. Hehe serious until now, bila aku baca balik post lama lama, aku still tergelak gila gila punya X)  

Meltinggggg. Ehem dekat baby tu. Ahhhhhh gerammmmmm :3 

Kbai Assalamualaikum. 

So.. in just another less than 6 hours, I'll be off to Lendu. While most of the students are going back on Tuesday. New year kan T.T Tahniahlah sambut new year jauh dari family. Tak cool man. Takpe. Ada kawan kawan. And ada kelas. Ada quiz pulak tu T.T Haha nais! 2012 has been so nice to me. Allah has given me so much to live. 

It happens to be one of the hardest year I've ever been through so far. And it has come to end. I am very grateful. Enough said, I've been living most of the days of the year 2012 to the fullest. Semua benda aku buat aku capai kepuasan tu. Alhamdulillah. New friends, new life, new problems, new everything. It was a bless for me. 

To the people whom I already knew in the past 6 months, thank you for being a part of my life and giving me memories. Thank you for being a part of my life and my heart. And one more thing... :)

Happy 18th birthday Faralina Shakirah. You do know how much I love you and miss you always. Wherever you go pls remember I am always with you. May Allah bless ur life and our friendship. Thank you for everything. And thank you Allah for this friendship. I wish you a happy life dekat Muadzam sana, future and afterlife. Take care lil sister. I miss you. 

See you when I see you Seventeen November Hehe. Assalamualaikum! & Happy new year in advanceeee!

Christmas break. What? :O

So it is Christmas Break everyone! Hampir sebulan aku biar blog ni tanpa makanan. Dan harini, berkat janji yang kita dah buat, berkat kekuatan mata menahan mengantuk, ayuh, teruskan membaca. Eh. Pulak dah. Tinggal 3 hari lagi je cuti. And baru nak kasi bersih sawang blog ni? Obviously I am having a very busy holiday. Haha. The first four days of break, I balik Penang uolls. I dont even remember when did the last time balik sini. Raya 2 tahun lepas I guess? Oh entahlah. And yeah I miss Penang so much :c

Stayed at Maksu's house. Alisya Hanis baru sebulan setengah. She's shoo tiny, and pink. Hahaha. Tunggu awak besar sikit kaksha main dengan awak okay :-) Baby Hadif belum big boy lagi. Sama je aku tengok dia dari last jumpa sampai now. Haha. Masih tembam dan gewammmm nya kaksha dengan awakkkk! Dah pandai cakap sikit sikit. Aina lagilah. Potpet pot pet mulut dia. Dari awal datang, sampai lah balik, sombong betul dia -_- haha. Pergi Bukit Merah, having a daddy-daughters time. Mandi manda. Was fun, really :-) 

But still, I miss cheghas the most. I miss BITO. Haha btho -_- And already spend my wednesday and thursday veghy veghy well. Went out with my precious. Pictures play the best role. Curik dari Instagram twins. I'm sorry but maseh muah. 

Went out bowling! 

He's my man and she's my precious :*

Breakfast give us more than just foods

Her in red. 

Celebrating upcoming birthday girl

Grew up here

Aeon gila bapak lah dia punya sale.

Siblings!

SuperMumu in the house!

Gedik gila

Nine, rise & shine!

Tralalala

Holiao. 

Spent well. Told ya :')

Okay, ayuh kita cerita pasal semester 2 pulak! Basically, we all sempat having three weeks dekat lendu before christmas break. Tell you what, 3 weeks can change the world, seriously. I mean, lotsa things happened in just 3 freaking weeks. I mean seriously, a lot. Okay enough. 

My first week dekat london, eh lendu (KAY) I was too busy, helping my friends moving out from their college to OUR college back. Dang Anum foreberrr! I am lucky to stay still at Dang Anum meanwhile, Nisa, Nad, Wani, Akak, Caca, Putih, Yanie, Kecik, Qintot tercampak merata rata rata rata. And I only managed to get Nisa, Nad and Wani back. Eceh, perasan. Macam aku sorang je tolong dorang dapat pindah sini balik haha. Terima kasih Pej. Kolej, terima kasih kak sally bagi contoh surat, terima kasih kak fuza tolong angkut barang nisa. 

Tell you, the first week is tiring but worth it. Aku menangis kat balcony. Level tak sama macam dulu dah. Everyone's telling the same freaking thing. Everyone, by mean, orang lama Anum haha. Since Tun Ali's residents moved to our college. and ramai ahli kehormat Anum tercampak keluar. It was freaking sad! So bila dapat bawak the three girls, Ya Allah, Subhanallah, satu rahmat terindah. Haa gittew kau jemah! Happy tak terhingga aku. Really :-) 

After a while, everything's get normal back. Level dah bising. Yelah, dulu tak kenal each other kan. Gitu lah jadi haha, actually aku je tak kenal dorang -.- But now. Boleh tahan bising. Macam pasar dah rupanya. Tapi dorang ni ada peak hour dia haha, bukan selalu bising. Macam kitorg dulu.. hiks. Seronok :-) 

Masuk second week I guess, hampir setiap hari lepak bilik Kak Sally, kat angelic. Bukan hampir rasanya, everyday Lol. Kenal Kak Jujie Kak Yana Kak Hajar Kak Auni. Bukan tak kenal before. Tapi kata orang, makin kenal. Eh apa apa jelah -_- Seronok :-) Kak Jujie, dulu kitorang panggil dia kakak koyok hahaha. Kak Yana, wa cakap lu, funny gila dahlah comel. rasa nak cubit je ~,~ Kak Hajar. Yang dulu tu garang gila tuuu. Yang dulu tu semua orang takut gila dengan dia. Haha ke entah, aku je kot yg takut lol. Tapi sekarang haha gelak guling guling dengan dia ni lah. dengan diorang ni lol. Kak Auni lagilah. Ya Allah aku rasa nak melompat jumpa dia. comel nak mati. Ahh dah semua org comel. Maksud aku bukan comel. I mean, comel. Derr pape jelah, aku bukan reti describe orang. Kelakar ke, garang ke apa ke semua aku ganti dengan comel. Tepape tah. Kak Auni dengan bantal petak colour brown dia. Botol air dia haha. Kak sally? Hiks, hai akak *lambai* haha. Yang dapat medal world most caring person pon kalah dengan kak sally. Caring gila sumpah.  Haritu guwa kena marah sebab tak makan tengahari. Kena paksa beli lunch. Nangis okay aku dengan nisa. Haha. Serious gila muka kak sally masa tu T.T Nampak Herbalife teringat kak sally. 

Teringat main nama buah tempat yang pilih pilih huruf masa kanak2 dulu tu dengan nisa kak auni kakhajar & kak yana dekat bridge. Senak gila perut aku gelak. Dengan Kak Yana ludah kumbang yang masuk mulut hahaha. Bercerita :) Yeah, it was one of the best memories I had so far for semester 2. 

Main ikat ikat rambut. Oh keluar outing dengan Kak Sally Kak Jujie haritu dengan Nad & Qintot. Hahah i have no idea why I am writing all this, I guess I just wanted it to be here. Memories made are not meant to be forgotten aite? Well at least, I believe in that :) Obviously, most of the days I had so far for semester 2, are great. 

Until.... I realized something I had forgotten. "Matahari akan pergi juga bila malam tiba" I had some tough time too :) I mean we. And we are trying very hard to fix everything. Lupa pasal hujan yang turun, lupa pada petir yang menyambar. Lupa pada banjir tak diduga. Honestly, I had enough of everything. I am too tired. I nearly give up. I dont understand why is it happening again and again everytime! I guess it is my fault. Kalau tak kenapa mesti jadi benda sama :\ Everyone's putting the blame on me. They dont see theirs :( Thats sadden me the most. Takpelah, maybe, it is really my fault. I dont mind, as long as everyone's happy. I will too :D Tu yang senang jadi aku. Haha. Eh? Whateber. And ohh, I met some Awesome people too!! Very glad to know them. Very happy to be called 'friend' to them. 

Annasihah. She got power in her words. She motivate me through her tweets and status. She's really a good friend too. Falil, dia gila buku. Eh kita geng ah wak! :D haha, naah, i tak kenal dia that close yet. Soon maybe :) Ayie, Farikha Akbar. I dont know, but I find her very very calm. Suka tengok muka dia, menenangkan & got that one day, she recites the doa, Subnallah, amazaaainnggg :') 

Oh oh nak bagitahu, semalam kan, saya kena twitlimit. For the first time in my life! Haha bangga pulak kejadah -_- Okay. I think thats all for today, thank you eh eh kbai. 

Assalamualaikum. Salam friday everyone!

Clumsy. That's so me.

So it is one week left before the semester break ends. And truly said, I am veghy excited. Tapi cuak tak cuak jugak lah kan hahaha. But but tolak tepi. Dah lama sangat kat rumah. Makin mengembang lagi ada. Tak cool. Rambut dah ku potong tapi tak macam potong -_- hmm. Semoga semester dua ni lebih bahagia lol dan happier dan semakin baik :) In Shaa Allah. 

In Shaa Allah? Why not Insyaallah? Sebenarnya sebutan dia kena panjangkan Shaa tuuu. Kalau tengok sebutan Arab dia. Thats the different. Okay selingan haha. Semalam punya semalam, i got a very shocking news from a friend. And tell you what, I was freak out like never before. Tak memasal aku nangis shaking nak demam sakit dada sgala bagai because the news scared the hell out of me. I was never afraid like that before. Menggigil gigil aku pegang phone dengan laptop. Tak jadi tengok Mariam Kampung Putat ada Hamis Jalikha! Hahaha. But it turns out, she was just kidding (I knew she was kidding hours later, dalam keheningan malam lol hening sangat) -,-

Aku tak tahulah aku ke yang over ke ape. But the thing is, if you're in my shoes, you'll freak out like I did too. Or maybe it just me :3 Tak kesah lah. I'm not mad or something. I was freaking scared (Its something that I cant control). I swear, aku tak pernah takut sampai macam ni sekali the whole life. Orang yang rapat dengan aku mesti tahu, kalau aku takut aku jadi gelabah, aku jadi tak tentu arah. Hahaha mesti terbayang aku tengah gelabah kan? Lol aku tahu kelakar dan rasa nak tampar. Sorry, I dont know how to control that part of myself yet. Later, I'll figure out somethg hehe.

Well it gave me lessons. Control diri. Focus, it is what important. Entah lah I thought if the news was freaking true pon takkan aku nak freak out everyday shaking everyday, But tell you what, yeah it was a total bangg on me. The next day that is yesterday, aku demam seram sejuk. Tangan tetiba shaking dada berdebar debar and sometimes hardly breath. Haha me so weird. Rasa nak tampar diri sendiri pon ada. Over nak mampus. But tell you, I wasnt kidding, kennot control mann. So after all, I put the blame on myself. I should learn to control myself. So non of this thing would happened (except the news part if it was actually true). I'm fine now. I am actually grateful, He listens to me, and my prayers. 

The first paragraph of this entry was written the night before I got the news (Haha I stopped whatever I was doing after I received the news). So at this moment, it is 5 days left before I'm going back to Melaka. I am mentally ready but not physically. Gosh my body is sick. Tell me how is it going to be healthy if what I eat was never vegetables or fruits. Tak fit. Tak macam dulu masa rajin swimming, haha ingat lagi dulu, terperasan six packs kat badan, wa tak tipu, baru nak jadi, tapi tak terjadilah sebab pemalas. Sekarang, baru naik tangga dah semput macam asdfghjkl. Burgh nak jogging, hamak tak rajin hahaha. Kena ubah :( 

Lama tak ada banyak duit. Lama tak spend duit untuk beli buku banyak banyak. Lama tak pergi book fair. Nak kumpul duit. Nak simpan untuk beli buku. And today, I found myself in love with non-fiction books. I dont even know how and why. Seronok sebenarnya non-fictions ni. Dahlah, ni, another sem breaks story. Till then.

Happy Monday, adios :*

Istanbul I'm Coming (hehe)

So a day before yesterday that is on Friday, me and my girls, qis zati & zani went out lepaking or another word for it, jogging. We're not exactly jogging, but we did walking around the Lake Valley's lake and wondering why we never knew it is huge. Hehe obviously we never had a walk before -_- and thats seriously freaking sad. What a 'healthy life' we had *Long sigh* Yeah. So because it is huge, we only walk for one round. Good start lah tu kan :B 

Then we off for breakfast. Sangat berkualiti masa yang dispendkan. The whole time we're just laughing and sharing our story in past 5/6 months. There's a lot to share. There's a lot to laugh at. Very long and calming friday morning we had :) Then, I had to go send some stuff to Cikgu Hasmalaili. So we off to her house. Hehe, borak borak. Gosh, we miss her so much! Then suddenly, Zati cakap "We should watch Istanbul Aku Datang today" jokingly. yeah, She was first joking. Cikgu took it serious Haha so the six of us (Us, four, Kak Farah and Cikgu) ended up watching it. And sponsored by our lovely beautiful teacher. Hehe see, we so cool liddat XD 

You should watch it like seriously you must! Everything was so beautifully created. the humour. Sakit perut gelak gelak. Lisa is so cute. The character, the clothes, the style, the wed dress. Mannnnn, beautiful ^^ Dengan Istanbul itself, Subhanallah! So amazing, at least it wht I see in the movie. :') Hehe and visiting Istanbul is now on my bucket list :B Place to go before I die. Certainly gonna watch it again. veghy a mind therapy. 

So yesterday.... Yeah, I turned 18 years old :) My day... was just fine. Yeah, I'm 18. But still, I'm a kid at heart hehe. No one can change that fact. I'm proud. Lewls. So, my wish is that, I become stronger and wiser. Being a good servant to Him. Being a good daughter anyway. A good sister. The best of a friend can be. Strong army in my own battle of my life. Gosh seriously I am influenced by the Avatar The last airbender story. (Imagine myself speaking in Katara's way) Okay, just ignore that -_-Seriously. 

Kay sambung. I want to change for the better life. It is not that I dont have a great life before, it just that, i never made it the best for myself in other words, I dont live it to the fullest. I keep choosing the wrong path even though the right one was never far from me. I see it clearly, but never tries to get myself that way. I keep on blaming people around me. I keep on running away from the people who really needs me and appreciate me the way I am. And I keep on going to the people who wants me when they're needing something. And that's how I end up hurt and...... mad sometimes. I guess I am mad to myself. I dont know how to overcome this. 

That one time, I realized I have no feelings anymore. I dont know how to feel sad. My sympathetic feelings gone. My tears are hardly fall. Which is I guess, a bad thing for me, as a human or at least a girl. Thats happened because I had so much pain inside (This really approve 'pain will only make you stronger' I heard most time) but it turns out the wrong way of strong meaning. Remember when I had to move from uniten to uitm? I felt like the whole world are against me. I feel like my rights were violated. But not anymore. I learnt to accept the fact that when He says Kun, then its happen. And cherish the 'Everything happens for reasons'. And yeah truly understand, 'what He takes from you, He'll give it back the better way'. Just move on with the flow and start making everything the best we could. (haha honestly, I've no idea where this spirit come from) and oh yeah, trust your parents. They know the best. 

I want myself back. The always happy girl, the no problem girl and appreciate the little things in my life. I am thankful, to born as a Muslim, as a daughter to my parents, as a sister to my siblings, and my best friends, and a friend to everyone. And stop thinking myself are not worth it (I'll work on it, I promise!). Hehe. I wish for a background music here.... Hello? 

http://jyeahthisisme.blogspot.com/2012/11/happy-bday-echah.html

I really appreciate this. Thanks muhaiminah. You showed me something anyone else never show. You make me realize something very worth it. Hehe thanks. I love you.

So gaise, I am 18 now. hehehehehehehhehehhehehehhehehhehehe. (creepy hurh>.>)

A peace of mind (not until the end of the entry)

So I just got back from 4 days vacation to Cameron Highland. Hehe. And yes it was super fun and I just love every single moment I had there. Why ah I got too excited? Cameron je pon. The air, the view, it was so much refreshing. Clean and cold air. The green view. Gosh I just love it so much. Now, Cameron Highland is officially one of my favourite place in Malaysia haha -_- okay. But, it wasn't my first time and of course wont be my last. Instead of going to beach which I truly miss the relaxing beach sound. 

Four days and three nights at Bank Negara Bungalow with the family. Hehe thanks to my beautiful aunty, Mummy :) Had a great time with the cousins who I rarely got the chance to meet them. 

Bila pergi sini, aku lupa semua masalah aku (including the one yang tak sepatutnya panggil problem pon, oh whatever) Seriously it was a peace of mind. Rasa tenang yang amat. I just realized all I need was vacation haha. Hmm. I was thinking how great it will be if I have the chance to go there with the best friends, Qistina or whoever it is. I miss Qistina a lot. And yeah, I dont miss anyone like I miss her except my aunties. haha the two beautiful women on my last entry. Walaupun asyik hujan je. Lagilah kan sejuk nak mati haha. Nak pijak lantai pon berlari lari sebab sejuk.

"Kita kena pindah ke Cameron Highland, ayah kena kerja kat sana, KTM nak buat keretapi naik ke situ" Hahahaha ~,~ It will be so great if one day ayah bagitahu benda tu lol. So now I seriously dont get it why Izzati hates moving to CH except for leaving her friends here in cheras. Well okay, I maybe will miss cheras even more haha since dari kecik aku tinggal kat sini. Okay I'll stop the craps here.

Hmm, so result. Haha. All I can say it is more than teruk. And yeah I am disappointed with myself. Really really disappointed. But I dont know where all this super strength came from that I just know it, I gotta be strong and move on and work harder next time. The thing is.... passion. I just realized what I really want. but still I dont know what is my path. So I just have to work on the only path I have now. Hahhh It is real hard yknow. I chose Accounting because I love maths. But I never want my future life to be life full of crap numbers and thing. Tell you what, I know what I really want in my future life. I can see it clearly. But I JUST DONT KNOWWW. MANNN THIS IS SUPER CRAP AND HARD AND WHATSOEVER.

Okay ignore everything yang ada dalam paragraph atas ni. Sigh. Apa apa jelah. I need another vacation hahahaha. 2 weeks and 4 days left before the semester break ends. Tak cool okay. I am not ready baby, NOT READY :( I still want to be at home.

No pictures cause I'm so lazy to upload it. I'm not feeling well. I feel like asdfghjkl. I miss Qistina. I miss Afif. I miss Wani. I miss my aunts, I miss my cousins. I miss the best friends. Sobs. Okbai. ahhhh mood swing all sudden. Tak cool.