Another Story

"I used to think the way to be strong was to be tough, the way to be independent was to not need anyone" - Portia De Rossi. 



Roughly, it is my second week here in UiTM Alor Gajah and I have to admit, I'm starting to love my campus life here. "Redha dengan takdir Allah" - Ibu. And now, aku mula nampak segala jenis hikmah yang ada tu. Well at least, for now, aite. So meh sini nak cerita :)

Nama Kolej? Dang Anum. Cerita dari tempat tidur dulu lah ye haha. Well, the facilities of course lah tak segempak Uniten. and jujur, masa first time aku nampak tandas dia (it was when my first time jejak kaki dekat UiTM, my parents brought me here, a few days before making the decision) aku menangis haha. Yeah stupid kan. I know. I dont really clear of why it became a very big thing to me. Bilik air je pong -,- Okay lets move on. Bilik aku atas sekali, nama level kitorang, Adorable. hehe. Comel gila. Lol. And my room mates, Syiqin, Yanie and Kecik/Ana. Sekepala, asyik gelak tak berenti. Hahah cool. The room is just nice. Ada almari 2. katil double decker 2, meja panjang. Ahahah. Okay whatever. Well of course I'm not going to tell you every single thing that i have in my room. Tapi yang pasti bersepah gila. Naik kelabu mata aku tengok. heh. 


Level mates. Hah kau level mates sangat -,- Ada dua seniors. And both of them are completely langit dan bumi hahah kay. Kak Anis, baik comel gila weh serious rasa nak peluk je. Lembut orang nya. And the other one is Kak Eika. Kak Eika pulak garang gila XD hahah serious . Tapi comel kecik molek je orangnya. What I mean by langit dan bumi just now was yeah garang and tak garang haha. Takut aku kalau kak eika marah :3 Level Adorable is actually quite fun and bising heheh. Compare to many more levels. Yang lain aku tengok senyap sunyi cengkerik je memanjang ~,~ Boring. Hahah. Or maybe it is just me. 


Seronok sebenarnya. Ramai yang baik and bising and banyak cakap, kecoh beramai-ramai. Fun. Here, a few of them yang aku dah start rapat. Mimi. Masa mula-mula datang, dialah orang first yang aku kenal. Sama course. Gila jugak kepala dia. Orang johor. Heheh. Imyra. Classmate si Syiqin. Dia panggil aku syarifah sebab si syiqin lah hahah pegi tipu dia ckp nama aku syarifah and till now dia panggil aku syarifah ~,~ Blur gila. Kelakar nak mati. Duduk dengan dia, kalau tak gelak tu memang pelik XD Tak bernafas aku gelak je. Manja. Hahah. Ida, budak bilik depan bilik aku. Dia panggil aku Aisy haha.  


Mira@Kakak, dia ni lah panggil aku Turquoise and Nadirah. Kak Anis pon panggil aku Turquoise -,- haha Dia PKL. Penolong Ketua Level. And know what, cara dia cakap, sebijik macam Dila cakap. Sebijik weh haha serious :3 Orang Kelate jugak :) Semua orang dia panggil Adik. Thats why orang panggil dia kakak. Baik orangnya. Kelakar X) Nadiah @ Cik putih. Cik putih ni pon ha, mira yang bagi XD Aku pon panggil dia putih. Lol. Sebab ada dua nadiah. And and nama Mira kat level aku ni pon... err boleh lah kira pakai jari. 4 orang kot tak silap. Jihah, room mate kakak. Wany, budak Dais jugak. Comel ! Nisa bilik sebelah kanan. Haha. kay ._. Lagi tu je lah kot, for now :) Tak sempat nak kenal semua lagi. Ni masa gotong royong tadi.  

Mira, Wany, And Jihah

Wany, Mimi and Mira :)

Turquoise, Syarifah, Aisy, Nadirah. Nama baru hahah. Sabar je lah X) And actually Turquoise was given masa kolej Induction which was last 2 night where kitorang kena mintak sign dari seniors and one of the senior nak pen colour turquoise. and i was the only one yang ada pen tu from my level lah. Heh. Kelakar jugak senanya, and now, bila ada org sebut turquoise mulalah aku terperasan XD cheh. So far, everything is just fine. I'm enjoying it right now :) Alhamdulillah


Okay meh cerita pasal kelas. D'ais 1A (Diploma Accounting of Information System). Sebutan dia supposed to be Di-A-is. Tapi dah malas sangat, da-is je lah lol. 26 orang. And Alhamdulillah they're all fun and great. 26 orang kot, tak perlu cerita semua sekali kan. haha letih lah aku. Dalam kelas ni aku rapat dengan Irra. Dia suka gelak. And bila dia gelak mesti panjang. pastu comel gila XD hahaha. And Hanis. Sebab dia sorang je yang satu kolej dengan aku. Yang lain semua kolej baru yang jauh beribu batu tu. Lol kay tipo je. Zaid. Si kecoh. Fajar, pemalu manja gituw menyampah lol. Class rep, Nurul and Sabrina si palapes. Lecturers, so far, okay je lah. Takde lah apa pon. Seminggu ni, aku busy gila gila gila punya busy. Dengan boria (Induction) Perghh. K -,-


Nextweek aku tak kira aku nak balik haha. Tak cukup tidur. Tidur kul 4 pagi, bangun kul 6. Heh. Okay fine, itu aku jelah yang cari pasal sendiri hahha. 


But still, aku rindu gila UNITEN. Hmm. Rindu gila babeng. Semalam skype dengan Yas Ecot. Yas nangis. Kesian dia. Banyak sangat benda jadi after aku keluar dari situ. Aku serious sumpah rindu diorang sangat-sangat. Nak jumpa :'3 Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Hmm.


Okay dah lah. Malam tadi aku tidur 2 jam je. Pagi tadi ada gotong royong. Nak pengsan dah aku rasa ni ha. Kbai. 




"The more you allow people into your life and into your heart, the happier you are"

I'm falling down

"I have to say, I have nothing to hold to but tawakkal. My spirit have been sucked up by I-don't-know-what. Pain and after pain. Only Allah knows how's trembling I am now. Ya Allah, I know You are always by my side. This time, hold me tighter than before. I'm falling down. Please Ya Allah, hold me tight. Ease this pain, ease everything." - Somebody that falling too.

This explain everything I'm going through currently. A lot of things happened to me. The world just bump into me. Its like the Tornado blew me away to somewhere I never thought of living. My spirit have been sucked up. Decreasing day by day. Hoping Allah will hold me tighter. I'm fully depends on Him. Praying He'll ease this pain. Calm my heart. Make me happy again. Make me the girl I used to be. I miss my self. I miss me. I really do. I never thought this would happen to me. 


People come and people go. To me, it depends on how you define it. Have you heard this before? "Some people come in our life as blessings, others come as lessons." As for now, most of them were just lessons. But I do treasure some as blessings. People wont come into our life to leave. Not simply as that. It must be, whether love, blessings, happiness or just lessons. None of them are the worst part. Well yeah, you did learn something from lessons, dont you? It is depends on how you take it. 


When I first came to UNITEN, all I want is to go home. By that time I realized I cant never live without my parents and my family. I cried almost everytime. When I walk to class. When I eat, when my mum called me. when my friends text me, when i tried to sleep, when I prayed. How ever, i managed to overcome all those feeling in just 3 days. Yes, Yas Dila and Echot are one of the reasons why. 


Then I got the tawaran UiTM, I felt nothing but just 'No way I'm going there, I'm gonna stay here' feeling. After a few discussions with my parents, they decided to sent me off to UiTM of course for many.... good reasons, i guessed. I was completely down and frustrated. Okay dah lah kot pasal ni. Sebenarnya aku nak cerita benda lain -,-


2 weeks of blessings. I really really really really miss UNITEN so much. Rindu sangat-sangat. And now, aku nak sematkan dalam blog ni. Okay, semat lah sangat -,- But here are some of my awesome friends I met there.


Jas Nadhirah - Masa mula-mula kenal dia, I thought dia sombong haha really -,- Well, i did learn not to judge somebody before you know them. Somehow, hmm, my bad. Dengan dia lah mula-mula aku pergi library, haha, jauh gila library. Dia baik, serious. Sweet. Cantik :) 


Nora - Nama dia nora je. Simple. Haha, pergi hospital buat med check up dengan dia. And dia ada baju sama dengan aku, cuma colour different. Okay seriously why am I telling all this? -.-


Ashraf Arif or Ash - Dia ni kat luar takde lah bising sangat. Selalu IM-ing dengan dia. And yes he's nice. Quite caring. Suka chinese girls. Punyalah banyak dia tunjuk kat aku -,- Buat apa tah.


Syafiq - Dia ni pon sama macam Ash, beza dia kat luar aku dengan dia pernah cakap sekali dua je -,- Pemalu takde lah pon haha. Tak lah baik sangat lol okay :p 


Koh, Tieran Aqua, Cendawan haha, cendawan XD YDE yang panggil dia ni cendawan of course for reason XD, sampai aku lupa nama betul dia. 


Shira - Aku adore dia ni. Rajin, berani, Independent. Everything she did by her own self. Pandai pulak tu. Dan comel. Haha 


Mimi, Shida and Jihan - My house mates. They're fun. Cuma tak dapat nak kenal lebih. 


Raja Nissa - Kawan si Echot yang kelakar gila. Hahaha. Cool gila dia ni


Nisha - Dia ni wa cakap sama lu, terbaik bro. Lol okay. Dia baik gila. Selalu teman aku. Aku ni almaklumlah penakut level paling atas. Selalu teman aku dinner, penah teman aku tidur. Dia nampak je macam kasar, tapi pemalu yang amat XD tapi berani. Hai sha, thank you for everything :))))))


And last but not least, my new Best friends.
Yas Dila and Echot - Paling terasa masa nak tinggal kan diorang haritu. I miss them so much. Like seriously. Walaupun baru 2 minggu kot kenal, but kitorang rapat gila gila. I'd mentioned before, they're the one who actually taught me of how to laugh again (by that time of course). Malam terakhir aku kat Uniten, aku tidur dengan diorang. And everything I left there, I gave it to them. Masa mula-mula tahu aku dapat tawaran tu, Dila tak kasi aku pergi. "Kita dah bincang kan ecah benda ni, tayah pergi." Haha dila marah :p Yas nangis. Aku tak tahu lah aku perasan ke apa, tapi dia down gila. Aku tahu ni. There's some reasons yeah. Be strong Yasreen. Kau kuat kan :) I never know why, but aku seriously selesa sangat-sangat dengan diorang, and I do love them so much. And kat sini, UiTM, every second I wish for them to be here with me. Setiap benda yang aku buat mesti aku teringat diorang haha. 


Ni lah satu masalah aku. Err eh, bukan masalah, nikmat :) Nikmat bila aku sayang seseorang, aku sayang sepenuh hati. Takde tolak bahagi. Yang ni mmg betul-betul aku. Sampai kadang-kadang jadi sakit sendiri. Bongok jugak XD But you know, the feeling, precious. Aku hargai sangat-sangat benda yang satu dalam diri aku ni. Pelik kan. Aku sendiri pelik. Kenapa wujud benda2 ni. Okay -,- 


So friends, good luck in everything. Jangan lupa aku. Nanti kita bukak business jual satu dunia. Okay -,- Amin Lol okay. And Yas Dila and Ecot, selamat datang. Haha. Aku nak korang tahu, aku sayang korang sangat2.And I miss you guys so much. Jaga diri baik-baik. Jangan gaduh-gaduh. Ingat apa aku pernah pesan. Belajar rajin-rajin. Jangan lupa aku, your youngest sister and best friend :) Future Best Chartered Accountant! :) I love you sayangs :* Aku ni sebenarnya kan rindu gila babeng ni :( Okay dah aku tanak sedih. Ecah kan kuat X) This is what we call expressing. Yeah the only way untuk lepaskan semua benda yang ada kat hati ni. Aku tak reti nak cerita kat sesiapa. Semua busy. Tak diorang aku yang busy. So... nvm.  

Credit : Yas

And, I miss my Perfect Nine and my SMS too. I miss my old life. Dear P9 and sms, I'm so sorry for everything. Good luck in your studies. Make your parents proud of you. Make each and everyone of us proud. My prayers are always for you. I miss you. And I love you. Chin up. Be strong. Behave. Be good ;) Jangan lupa aku. Aku tak pernah lupa korang. Remember to always hold my words :)


And Ibu, ayah. I'll try my best in everything. I'll make you proud. Insyaallah. Pls pray for me. 


I'm in a situation where sometimes I dont even know my self. I'm falling down. But I know Allah will ease everything for me and hold me tighter. And to the people I love, thank you for being in my life. Ya Allah, bless my family, my best friends, TP9, SMS, YDE, the people around me, the people that ever made me happy and smile. Forgive them, guide them, bless them. And I love you guys, for the sake of Him :) I really do appreciate each and everyone of you. May Allah hold us tighter and guide us to Jannah. I love you. 
   
Trying harder,
Ayesha Nadhrah
3.12am. 

Bless

2 weeks and counting. I'm deeply in love with them. Gonna miss them so much :'( 

Love you sayangs :*

12 days.

Rayuan Upu, Alhamdulillah dapat tempat UiTM. Sistem Maklumat Perakaunan. But yeah, i'm pretty sure it isnt for me. I mean, dekat sini, Alhamdulillah, aku dah berjaya sesuaikan diri :') Its a big thing to me. Really big thing to me. 10 days ago, i was here crying non-stop. Wishing to go home so bad. Wishing to let go the chances here. Crying all night. But itu, 10 hari lepas.

Im so happy today. But aku serious tak tahu nak bagi tahu orang mcm mana. It just hmmm, the best feeling evah. I just love it so much. And I'm truly grateful kenal dengan Dila, Yas, Nisha, Echot and the rest. Setakat ni, diorang je mampu bagi aku gelak macam biasa aku gelak tak ingat dunia dulu hahah. And diorang lah yang aku paling rapat. Dila, comel gila weh. Aku serious tak tahan kalau dia gelak, kalau dia senyum. Ya Allah :') Comel gila comel gila comel gila rasa nak peluk je. Weh serioussss. Everytime dia gelak je Mashaallah, aku rasa nak terbang hahaha. nampak tak? Aku tak tipu. Serious ni serious! Tenang gila hati tengok dia senyum haha. Okay macam lebih pulak. Tapi serious aku tak tipu!

Yas. Yas ni manja. Manja gila :) Comel pulak tu haha. Kalau gelak pon tak ingt dunia hahah. Dia tak suka ulat, binatang. Boleh join lompat jauh atau lompat tinggi sure menang tanpa bertanding. Lol lol lol Cekeding je. Tapi kuat makan hahah. Echot, dengan loghat perak pekat dia. Aku pon sampai terikut-rikut hahaha. Orang kat sini ada macam macam jenis loghat diorang guna.

So aku yang takde loghat ni (Oh ada, loghat rojak buah -,-) mesti terikut. Kejap kejap cakap mcm org kelantan, kejap-kejap perak, kejap-kejap karang nogori. Sukahati je campur aduk. Tapi comel apa hahaha opsss. Paling suka dengar loghat kelantan. Aku mesti diam sambil dengar sambil senyum haha dan kadang-kadang ternganga sebab tak faham selalunya abe foodcourt tulah hahaha sebab serious macam cool gila doh loghat tu. Comel kan aku. Lol okay -,- Tetiba. and Nisha, student Diploma. And secara bangganya disini berkata, aku orang first yang dia kenal kat sini hehehehehe. Lol okay -,- Dia student baru jugak. heheh. masuk a day after aku masuk. She's nice. Kadang-kadang rasa nak lempang jugak XD Okay tak nisha, aku tipu je :p 

And the rest, biarlah dulu. So setakat ni, diorang nilah jadi pengubat duka lara aku. Hahaha. Okay -,- Jujur aku mula happy kat sini sebab diorang lah. Seingat aku, the first gelak yg aku gelak kat sini secara tulus ikhlas lagi menawan, dengan diorang lah. 

And kepada korang, Dila Yas Echot Nisha. Thanks for everything :) Thanks sebab sudi jadi kawan aku. Thanks sebab sudi layan aku. haha. Erm Apa apa jangan segan silu tanya aku, kalau terasa dengan aku, sila bagitahu, tau tau, aku ready mental physical nak tolong korang apa-apa, nak cerita, nak luah perasaan, cari je aku, aku sedia dengar :) and jom, 4 flat every subject. Whuhuu And and and jangan tinggal aku haha tau :3 Aku sayang korang tau ♥ Ye aku serious :) Haha tetiba macam segan -,- 

Lol okay. Yelah dah diorang je kira best friends aku kat sini selain Fara saya. so boleh nampak kan aku dah mula sayang Uniten ni and yeah sebab diorang jugak. Insyaallah, 5 tahun. 5 tahun tu lama, tapi macam sekejap je -,- Eh. Erm. Doakan kejayaan aku kat sini. Doakan aku jadi business woman yang berjaya dunia akhirat. Insyaallah. And yeah, May Allah bless you. 

To my Perfect Nine, good luck in everything. AKu takkan lupa janji kita :) Jangan lupa Allah. Jangan tinggal solat. Jangan buka aurat. Jangan salah pilih kawan (This is something important, ingat, kat luar tak menggambarkan yang dalam macam mana.) and tak semstinya yang buruk, yang nampak kelam tu tak baik untuk korang. Ingat, rezeki Allah tu luas seluas-luasnya. Doa tawakal. Jangan lupa aku ada. Aku ada untuk korang :) Love you darlings :)

I'm not that strong.

Well, Assalamualaikum :) So, harini kelas pukul 3. Okay... hmm. nampak tak, takde modal nak cakap apa. Tepat seminggu aku kat sini. So far, okay je lah. But i really miss home. And wanted to cry everytime aku teringat Ibu, Ayah, Nadiah Syarah, rumah, Muhaiminah, Muhaimin, Shahzanie, Qistina :\ Aku tak tahu sampai bila aku nak macam ni. Banyak benda yang aku fikir. Banyak sangat. Siapa yang jaga adik2 aku kat rumah, itu dan ini. Its okay, I leave it to Allah. 


Dekat sini I'm all alone. I mean, nobody cares if aku dah makan ke, nobody cares if aku menangis, if aku sakit. Its true. No one yang boleh jaga aku macam Ibu Ayah, and perfect nine jaga aku selama ni. Aku dah lama tak gelak seikhlas hati. Jujur aku tak happy dekat sini. Since Fara punya jadual memang different dari aku, susahhh sangat nak jumpa :( I miss Fara so much :( Masa yang best pon bila Nisha, my new friend and my classmates Yas, Dila Ecot, ada. Tapi tak sama rindu gila rumah. Yeah maybe nanti, since aku pon still baru kat sini kan ~.~ But Alhamdulillah, i manage to do everything well. Studies pon okay. Cuma acc, susah sikit, everytime aku nak cuba paham, mesti rasa nak nangis. Takde siapa yang tolong terang kat aku bila aku tak faham. Fikiran tengah bercelaru sebenarnya. bercelaru sangat-sangat :( 


Sejak aku keluar rumah, aku rindu sangat-sangat dekat ibu, ayah, nadiah and syarah. Oh man, I miss them so much. So muchhhhhhh :'c And yeah, jumaat ni, balik KL XD yeayyyyyy. Tak sabar nya rasa :') Tapi 3 hari je :( Hmm


P/s : Ibu, Ayah, Nadiah and Syarah, I love you more than I love my self or anything else in this world. I'll sacrifice my life for you. You are my everything. I cant live without you. Ya Allah, guide us to Jannah. Alhamdulillah, I'm so grateful having them in my life. Ya Allah, lindungi kami dari sebarang malapetaka, bencana, dunia dan akhirat, manusia2 yang berniat jahat, berhasad dengki, menabur fitnah, penyakit-penyakit berbahaya. Ya Allah, I love them so much. So muchhhhhhhh! :') Sha sayang ibu ayah nadiah and syarah sangat-sangat. I miss you so muchhhh :'c

They're my heart, my soul, my life, my everything, my love, my smile, my laughter, my jannah and the reason for who I am today and in the future.  ♥ I love you so much!!!

and best friends, thank you for everything. Please, dont leave me. I love youuuuuuuu :') So much. Korang tahu korang siapa kan :) I'll never forget you. I promise. Hold my words.  

Hope.

She misses home.

She miss her daddy so much

She miss her mummy so much

She miss her little sisters so much

She miss her best friends so much

She miss the school so much

She miss her teachers so much

She miss 'her place' so much

She miss 'The one that got away' Yeah, you baby, so much. 

She was afraid

She was freaking out

She wanted to cry every time

But she's stronger than you think.

She'll be okay. 

She'll be fine. 

Allah is there every single second with her. 

Allah is there to protect her.

Allah is there to guide her

Insyaallah, she'll be just fine :')

She is me.